Watching the TV just then gave me something to write about, which oddly...involves cows.
I don't know if you've seen it...but there is an advertisement...which states the 3 main contributors to global warming: energy generation, transport and livestock. Then it suggests in a friendly voice "be green, go vege" because "It’s the easiest, cheapest, most effective, empowering action, anyone can take now. It will buy us time to ASK MORE from our leaders to work on other areas where a policy shift is needed.
"

Who the fuck came up with that advertisement? Cause they should be shot. Even if a million people saw that add and thought "i eat meat,meat comes from cows, cows emit methane which contributes to global warming, i'm going to turn vegetarian and combat global warming" it would do fuckall. The reduced demand on meat would barely register and farmers would not reduce the amount of cattle they bred. If by chance every person who saw this add is a deadshit and actually does turn vegetarian(not saying vegetarians are deadshits, but people who turn vegetarian because they believe they are combating global warming are), let's say, a billion people go vege, the price of meat would drop, people who do eat meat would eat meat more meat, plus poor people who never used to eat meat would now eat meat. Again, this would do fuckall in terms of reducing the number of those bastard cows who are fucking up our planet with their farting.

Listen, you fucktards who made this add, if you want to reduce livestock emissions, the only sensible way to go about it would be to go on a cow slaughter spree. "be green, kill a cow"

It is not cows that are to blame for global warming, it's us. If you want to go green, use a green coles bag, drive a prius, kill a fucking american/soccer mum who drive the SUVs that get about a kilometer to the liter, plant a tree, turn off some lights, buy energy efficient appliances and purchase carbon offsets where possible.

"be green, use some common sense"

xxx

Merr

The above image depicts me. I'm the cow with its head caught...Coles is the cow giving it to me.
My second post was a bitcha bout Coles not rostering me. Well i finally got demanding with them and...demanded...knowledge of my shifts in advance. So they put me on Tuesdays and FRIDAYS! Fuck working 9-1 on fridays. Rules out the entire night. I will put up with it for the time being, but in about a month i'm going to tell them i can no longer do friday nights due to reason X. Any ides for what reason X could be?

This week has been pretty average. I got two assessments out of the way, only to be confronted with one next week and one the week after. On the plus side i did score awesome $39 shoes from Myer.

Shit post, hopefully the weekend brings about exciting to write about.

weekend end

Another thumbs up weekend.
Friday night saw Dave, Oscar and I head to empire for a night out. The headline act, pase rock (doesn't deserve capital letters), sucked. Coming from a crunkin' crew (Spank Rock) you'd expect some ghetto bootay bouncing tunes. Instead we were confronted with a set that wouldn't have been out of place at a 14 year old girl's (who has a passion for mainstream top of the charts dance music) birthday party. pase rock's lack of excitement was MORE than made up for by Anna Lunoe's (not only is she a talented dj, she's foxy) brilliant set, and Sampology's absolutely mind boggling mixing, scratching and song choice.

Sampology rockin' the shit

The night then settled down with a trip to maccas with double cheeseburger action, crazy singing man on bus and some of the best laughing i've had in a while thanks to Dave.


Saturday night saw a nice homely little crew get together at Mini's in celebration of his birthday. Some highlights included:
-a game that involved a bottle cap perched on a fan, the fan being turned on, and whoever the bottle cap made contact with had to drink two home brews and some goon (Mini's rules)
-Mini declaring his love for me at the top of his voice
-Mini revealing he would love to pass from this earth by getting stabbed by a Slipknot fan in a straight jacket @ Slipknot concert
-Mini in general
-jig cleaning
-guitar hero
-plain old drinking with mates conversations and giggles

Cutie ones

Without a doubt, the best costume anybody has ever come up with...ever.

Respect for you, whoever you are.

I have beef with my place of employment. Coles dominates the Australian supermarket industry, along with Woolies they have about an 80% market share (maybe my degree is good for something). As such, one would expect that they have an organised and precise labour force. This is not so. Coles Toowong (busiest Coles in QLD i'll have you know) is my place of employment and has been for over a month now. You would expect that i would have some kind of indication of when i'm working via a roster type document. This is also not so. They call me literally a few hours (today was a record, 3 hours before the said shift) before they want me to work and ask if i'm available. I mean, fuck, i don't want to plan my life around the POSSIBILITY of working every night. It is made even more irritating because feel bad rejecting shifts as i am never sure when i will be called upon next. They keep saying i'll be rostered soon...but if they aren't quick i'm blowing that joint and joining the supermarked revolution that is Aldi (as a side fact, stacking shelves would be much simpilar at Aldi, it only has a product range of about 700, your typical Coles has 10,000{by product range i basically mean brands...eg Aldi has one brand of tinned tomatos, Coles has about 7}).
Tonight i worked in the juice/water section. If i get that section every night i work i will positively develop some guns...it's tough work.

Anyway, let us balance the negative of shit employment with a positive of the joy of fail blogging.

poppin' the cherry

I don't know what i'll get out of blogging, and i don't know what you'll get out of reading my blog.
I HOPE that it'll be some kind of outlet and a place i can share things that interest me. Furthermore i hope to make it entertaining and insightful.

I know EVERYBODY blogs about things they love and things they hate, but when you think about it carefully, there is fuckall else to write about. If people didn't write about things they had a love/hate passion for, then people wouldn't write at all. So as i am a mere mortal, that will be the format of my blog.

So here i sit in my pyjamas still seedy from lastnight. You see our hotwater system likes to short circuit once or twice a fortnight so i haven't had the opportunity to cleanse myself today, and i won't until 1am butttt that's no biggie as for the past 6 months 2:30am has been roughly when i sleep. Lastnight was fun, i hadn't drunk in about three weeks so i was a little over zealous in drinking my bacardi and coke. It was going down very smoothly and Oscar and i were having a mix on his decks with Céline as our audience. At approx 9:30pm, soon after straightening my hair the bacardi and coke suddenly wasn't sitting right and things weren't so pretty, and i proceeded to hop on the vomit express, destination-Oscar's balcony. I was well overdue for a spew, lastime was during the christmas holidays in Armidale, so pretty good effort in my books.
After i expelled the contents of my stomach things went a bit blurry but i'm pretty sure i sat on Oscar's bed for about an hour thinking "ohh shit, there goes the fun filled night" when i miraculously made a 200% recovery and got super psyched for going out again.
The night improved 50 fold as soon as we hit the valley and met up with dave, sam and their roomie and her friends. Once out i managed to continue to drink and most of the night was spent on the dancefloor to some pretty killer DJs and pretending to be a vampire with dave(how did that start?). The night was topped off by a trip to maccas where 2 cheeseburgers hit the spot and also a drunk wog at the bus stop just generally being a funny dude with lines such as "spinning lebanese roundhouse kick" and " "hey akon...hey akon! oi what's the black guy's name?" *gesturing in the direction of a person of colour he clearly isn't aquainted with.

That was my night, and it was worth the hangover.